Does your office need some shaking up?

Are you co-workers too staid? Devoid of a sense of humor? Maybe NOW is the time to inject some levity into the workplace. Try these suggestions to increase the comradery in your office -- or increase your chance of collecting unemployment checks.
 
 
ONE POINT DARES
 

• Run one lap around the office at top speed.
• Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
• Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
• To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
• Walk sideways to the photocopier.
• While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

 
 
THREE POINT DARES
 

• Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
• Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
• Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
• Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
• Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

 
 
FIVE POINT DARES
 

• Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
• For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
• While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
• In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights". (Extra points if it is a male, even more if he is your boss)
• Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
• Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
• Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
• Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
• Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
• After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
• Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
• During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
• Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

 
 
MASTER LEVEL DARES
 

• At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
• Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
• Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
• At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
• In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up!".